Who in the fuck is Carmen Sandiego?

In deep thought today I started to ponder the whereabouts of Carmen Sandiego. That really isn’t the important question. This is a criminal that has been caught multiple times and has escaped each and every one of them. I am assuming that she was locked up in a maximum security establishment after her first escape. More importantly she had the abilities to steal such things as the leaning tower of pizza and the mona lisa. We are obviously dealing with a psychotic mastermind. With the record she has, I’m quite positive that she has committed multiple murders and suffers from a burning case of syphilis. That is probably why she likes to be on the run. It would not surprise me if she kidnaps chickens and molests family dogs. All being said, I think we should stop wondering where in the world is Carmen Sandiego. We desperately must find out who in the fuck is Carmen Sandiego? I am going to begin research of the possibilities and post them to this blog. If you have any comments or things that can help me compile this “google search profile” I will gladly research anything you suggest.

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One thought on “Who in the fuck is Carmen Sandiego?

  1. Bronze Lifter says:

    Obviously Carmen Santiago is into some pretty bad shit. That’s the obvious part. And she needs to answer for her crimes. Why haven’t the authorities over at ACME Crime labs ever consider the death penalty? I say we go in and wipe out her whole organization with police sponsored machine gun death squads. Who would do this though? Obviously we would need a mixed of crazed female prohibition era progressive movement leaders and the entire 1952 L.A. police department. They knew how to get results. The worlds gone too soft on super criminals and I for one am sick of it. I remember back in the day when the gumshoes would gather up the suspects (and victims of crime occasionally) and make them drink there own urine until they talked! When they cracked them they beat all of them until their stool was so bloody it looked like there assholes were magic tomato juicers.

    As for your profile I would say a bi-sexual woman late twenties early thirties, fetish for red, and a penchant for stealing all the maple syrup in Canada.

    Interests include world history, theft, murder, kidnapping, napping, super science, The Warriors, giant maps of the U.S. with red light poles, time travel, cloning sheep (in order to steal a single sheep more than once) and unbridled sodomy.

    Known associates: Robo Crook, Dennis Hopper, Al Capone, Hitler from 1938-1944, and the 1993 Harlem Globe Trotters (whom she stole)

    The worse thing she ever took though was my…heart

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