Al Roker’s Personality Secrets

I work evenings so I often have an opportunity to watch “The Today Show”. I find the personalities of it’s hosts quite frightening. I googled fake person and found that urban dictionary has it very wrong. Fake person IS defined as Meredith Viera and Al Roker. The way they banter, interview and jostle each other on the air is sickening. I have come to some serious conclusions about them. Al Roker wants, with all his being, to be a woman, one of the girls. His peachy sense of self and uuberlame outgoing shenanigans always make the weather in my neck of the woods seem so insignificant. I more so fear the on-air sex change I am going to be forced to witness Al undertake, and the “marry me Meredith” sign I am going to have to read down on the streets. I know that Meredith both despises Al and often makes very sick sexually demeaning comments under her breath. I urge viewers to watch her smile and laugh, imagine what she is really thinking. The catch 22 she is entangled in is; that as much as she wants to re-enact the slow dagger stab from Saving Private Ryan with Mr. Roker, she desperately needs the lesbian lust he spills all over the studio for her. Meredith has never known what she wants in life, this all started when her parents forced her to read King Solomen’s biblical decree of sawing a baby in half in an attempt to find the real mother. This threat was used innapropriately against her from the ages of 4 to 19. She lived her whole childhood knowing her parents were carrying metaphorical mini skill saws on their toolbelts. They actually wore toolbelts even though they both worked in a Comcast office. Cable companies are satonic cults that steal the money of Americans. Meredith is cunning though. She cleverly decided to threaten Regis Philbin with a Kathy Lee mask and steal his coveted “Millionaire”. Kathy Lee also cheated on her husband with the same flight attendent (Although and older much heavier version) (Its the smell of penuts and small cups of alcohol that has those Giffords wearing adult diapers for the wrong reasons). She (Meredith) is however able to make herself feel better by watching average Americans with the high hopes of winning money fail. This helps her sleep at night. Regis is plotting, and before the terminators come, he will have his vengeance. Al grew up in a house full of women and the high estrogen in the air took something from him that cannot be replaced with a meteorology degree. So he didn’t even try to get one. Back to the Horror. The today show should be rated NC 17 due to what is going on behind the scenes. I have compiled all of Rokers weather reports onto a single track of video and found that he plans “The Change” to happen on the air in August of this year with some sort of weather map and a surgeon dressed as Nathan Lane. Please dateline, go after your own for the good of mankind. Please don’t read the transcripts though. I would warn people to switch and watch Ellen but that show is stupid. Is Drew Carey gay?

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