Wanna come to my stupid shower?

I’ve noticed that women have too many dumb get-togethers. There is the baby shower, bridal shower and bachelorette party (both before a wedding, a wedding is basically a giant party in itself) (this is three parties, not to mention that a wedding is somewhat of a two act party). The baby shower seems to occur in a short period of time after weddings anyway. There are sex toy parties, tupperware parties, pampered chef parties, and various other cheap sales trick parties. These shouldn’t be classified parties because they are lame lapses of weakness created by meteocre sales associates. Now imagine if there are 5 to 10 girls that are friends, this could equal around 6-7 seven million parties in a couple year span. Tradition grows out of hand fast. Or, it is spoiled fast. Do the showers take away from the signifigance? Some of these parties make sense and some I just don’t get. Let me clarify that I don’t care what people do with their time, I only probe to understand more about the world. I hear people say about many of them that it’s about the free gifts. Gifts are always nice, but when it comes to many things, I am enrolled in a school of thought where I just buy the shit I need when I need it. Maybe this is because when I was a child I didn’t have my own money and when I needed things I received them as gifts. I find a certain empowerment in taking care of stuff myself. This is a good quality. There are parties I understand like promotions, going away parties, awards and other things celebrating earned accomplishment.  I also imagine the earlier mentioned parties like I see them on shitty TV (a moving picture device), much like Caroline in the City or Sex in the City or any of those shows. These moments are often sprinkled with lots of shrilly high pitched words and short stroked, quick clapping. I think this is why I hate Jennifer Anniston with a passion. I hate the characters she plays, I don’t know why exactly. This makes me unable to see her as the attractive goddess that everyone else sees. Adding “in the City” to things is like an estrogen title injection, apparently. What if the show was just called sex? You would never hear men uttering, “I hate Sex.” This could have helped the show. Then again it’s a show about four women pretending to be four gay men in New York City. My favorite movie might be Babe II: Pig in the City. Showers? Showered with gifts? Showered with attention? Showered with Babes blood from above the prom dance floor? That was an interesting movie, I may write on its symbolism, but I’d need to watch it again.  In any case parties may be ingenious or something. I am forced to rationalize, but not in a rational way. The conclusion I come to is attention. When it is a bridal, baby or whatever “Shower” people get to have all eyes on them. They get to have games played in honor of them. When you throw your sex toy or papmpered chef party you get to be the uniting force, the product demonstrator. (Also the one making money off of your friends…) (Your friends could buy all this stuff online and it would be cheaper, they would do this if they really wanted it) It’s my lack of understanding on the opposite sex. It’s the product of being too practical. I will arrange more showers. I often feel the need to celebrate. I won 4 strait NHL 09 games on Saturday. This was hard and the opponents were tough. I’ll send out the frilly invites.


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