I was thinking about possible Superbowl XLIV advertisements for next year. Nothing would be more fitting than a Tampax commercial. I have always vomited on the sofa each time I see that “Tampax was there” commercial that features Woodstock as the “Where” location. The muddy water filled with young hippie girls, all apparently on the rag, is so classy. I’m going to do the Buffalo Bill tuck, and give it a try…
Tampax Was there Superbowl Ad
Interior. Stadium Bathroom Stall. Young attractive female seen from the shoulders up sitting on toilet doing her business when she looks down. She pulls her purse up to her lap and digs through it. She pulls a Tampax out and holds it up to study it for a moment. Female reaches down and adjusts as she starts to put it in. Camera remains on her face during application. The scene changes to slow motion, we hear the the POUNDING OF DRUMS fading into a loud sound.
Flash to hazy black Grey smoke filling the frame. The POUNDING DRUMS reveal themselves as the beginning of THE HEY SONG playing over a stadium of CHEERING fans. The camera moves back revealing a fully charged football stadium, with a game in progress.
Close up of coach YELLING in the sideline huddle. HEY SONG volume slightly decreases as coach yells over all the NOISE.
Coach: It’s getting sloppy out there boys.
Player (excited): Can we go for it coach?
Coach: We can’t go for it when it’s this messy, we gotta score another way!
Player: Back door play coach?
Coach: Nope, we’re gonna shove it right down their throats! Now go get ’em!
Huddle breaks and players charge (SCREAMING) onto the field. HEY SONG VOLUME and STADIUM NOISE get louder again. MUSIC Remains thoughout sequence of cuts.
Fans SCREAMING and CHEERING.
Vegetarian concession vender squeezing ketchup into an empty hot dog bun.
Player on field with bloody sweaty scrape on arm.
Fans at bar smoking cigarettes, screaming at the action on a television screen. They are shaking beers and spraying them all over.
Elderly women calmly shaking her head “No” while watching the game.
Slower motion shot. Rich gambler man in front row seating with a big dirty brown cigar in his mouth. Close up on cigar and saliva falling off the dripping wet, gummed up, mouth end.
R. Kelly in Luxury box drinking a glass of red Cool Aide.
Players dumping big tub of red Gatoraide over coach (dressed in white team sweatshirt). Camera moves to assistant soaking red liquid off of coach with white hand towel. Fast camera move to close up of soaked red towel.
Quick sequence flickering through the main focus of each previous cut very rapdily.
Woman from bathroom stall, in beginning of commercial, dancing as cheerleader on sideline. Jumps to the air performing a spread eagle. FREEZE FRAME while she is in midair. Her facial expression nervous, eye looking downward toward her white underpanties that show when she does kicks and jumps.
Superimpose over the FREEZE FRAME of cheerleader: WE’LL BE THERE. TAMPAX.
Chubby coaches assistant, on sideline, dancing to the music swinging the sopping wet gatoraide absorbed towel over his head.
Fade to: Brown. HEY SONG volume fades.