If you have Direct TV or Cable (something Louie Anderson made) then you have undoubtedly watched these channels dedicated to decorating, selling, flipping, and ruining houses. I sometimes enjoy watching that Asian women limit buyers to three choices regarding which home to buy, but I always have an eery feeling when I am finished viewing. As if the buyers were held in torture basements between house viewing. It occurred to me now, what this feeling is. I was watching one such show where a married couple’s bedroom was apparently not satisfying their lifestyle. This sparked my interest. I was waiting for rusty chains and a JFK back brace to be installed. I was disapointed when a short, over stylish, long haired, light in the loafers, latino began rambling on about masculinity while he did handstands in the closet. I watched the program dribble on for half an hour while carpenters made simple quick jobs out to be difficult tasks. They also did them in some very stupid ways. While they did that they all joked around and had giggle parties about drapes and how to nail a light fixture to the ceiling. The show concluded and one of the faggiest bedrooms ever built (equal to Al Rokers personality) was declared masculine and suitable for some Dan Connor looking guy. It also took into account the (nonsexual) needs of his wife, and everyone had another tickle party before the show ended. I realized that if people start using these shows for ideas we are going to live in a big ball of estrogen pills very soon. That means bitch tits, genital reconstruction and a lot of crying. These shows never make anything functional or even normal looking. They don’t make anything modern or interesting either. Trading Spaces would be much more entertaining if the two couples chosen to redo eachothers rooms were: Couple A, two prison bunkmates/ Couple B, Versacci and Andrew Cunanon. Although I don’t think they allow waterslides in the actual prison cell. These programs are so daft and boring, yet something about them hooks everyone to watch, even me on occasion. I know whats going on. The behind the scenes activities generate such charisma on set, that they could just show Ty Pennington playing tummy sticks against a full wall mirror and people would still watch. In fact that is what he does between takes. Through my Hollywood connection (that is where I get most of my information for blogs relating to celebrities) I was able to view the original Trading Spaces show introduction that the cast members made for chuckles and limp wristing. It started out with Page Davis wearing an exceptionally real looking, nude elderly man, body costume. She danced to techno beats around a bird bath and began slowly sweating the costume off. After a fast motion camera scene we could see that it was Page, and that the bird bath was filled with the tears of satan. The reflection in the tears was her having a jolly time riding a mechanical bull while other cast members opened “snake in a can” party toys in the background. This footage was entertaining, but I can understand why they have to play it down by using cheap plywood to build fake furniture. These shows are terrible, thats why I watch them.
Design to Sell! Sexuality Flipping