FCC to ban Nike slogan

The FCC announced on Friday July 17 that the NIKE corporation would no longer be allowed to use its popular slogan, “Just Do It.” FCC Spokes person Blossom Russo stated, ” In a national climate lacking the element of physical fitness, and surplussing in the epidemic of obesity, Just Do It, is no longer a plausible corporate motto…… most people hardly realize that Nike carries an athletically based product line.” This was deemed true by the American Cancer Society. Most American youths hardly know what the word athletics means anymore according to a poll by NBC dateline.  The “Just Do It” slogan has been misinterpretted by many North American youths (and adults) in the last few years and has prompted people to do terrible things. In Cleveland Ohio, a young female named Caroline reportedly mascaraed for days as an under cover prostitute in attempt to produce and copy write a coffee table book of America’s Scariest FREE People. When her youth priest asked her why, she stated, “I was pondering the idea, and thought to myself…just do it.” In Winston Delaware, the Governor broke legislative protocol merging the state with Maryland. He was wearing a Nike sweat wicking shirt that day. In Hector, Minnesota, for weeks on end without the knowledge of lunch room staff children were having eating contests, some consuming as many as 11 pounds of all-purpose meat sauce in a sitting. The school janitor overheard one student saying to another in the bathroom stall afterwards, “Just Do It.” When asked why he tipped over the worlds largest domino set up, Brian West ate one of the domino’s. Brian was wearing Nike sneakers. The FCC is looking out for the safety and mental well being of the United States. According to a commercial, pigs don’t wear condoms. I think Trojan should separate themselves from that ad, due to swine flu.

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