Travel Blog (mock)

Public Travel Journal:

This will be a blog entry of Cindy Beaver. Cindy is twenty-one years of age and midway through her study abroad trip. She is keeping a blog of her travels and thinks that people back home actually give a fuck. She is also a figment of my imagination, which represents what I think about listening to peoples “Study Abroad Stories”. These stories are generally only interesting to people who have been there, and not to the rest of us who couldn’t afford it.

Beaver Blog:

Today is Wednesday, which means that I have already been traveling Europa for three months now. Crazy! I can’t believe how fast time goes by when you are are having a blast. Today Maria and I plan on visiting the Cathedral and the Colosseum. We are very excited, and have found some wonderful Roman guys to escort us around today. Yay! Vincent and Ravioli have told us to meet them at this most wonderful coffee shop in a quiet part of the city, where they have the cutest waiter. Jean Luc! They also had the most beautiful flower arrangements in Florence, I can’t wait to go through all the photo album I am creating of domestic flowers and shrubs over here.  Mom, you would love all of the different accents we are encountering during our studies. Yesterday, while we drove mo-peds through the hills we had the chance to stop at many gorgeous little Mountain villages. I was able to find souvenirs for all of you back home. So be excited!!! The original Mona Lisa has been my favorite stop so far. I greatly enjoyed the beauty and history behind such a magnificent piece of work. I also elected to visit the studio in which Leonardo Di Awesome painted at. I can’t describe in words the exhilaration I felt walking though his work space and looking at his tools. After we soaked in as much ancient culture as we could for one day, the group and I lounged in a hot springs natural jacuzzi and sipped on the most tasteful red wine we could get our hands on after a long and tiring day. The weather has held up pretty well, minus a few rainy days we had hiking last week. I look forward to next week, and the Spanish Countryside! We are such world travelers, I feel like I’ve found a part of me that never wants to leave. It’s like I have lived here my whole life. As I’ve learned to say in the U.K. Bugger Out, until next time!

Love,

C. Beaver

That type of shit is lame, no one cares about what people do over there. Here is my imagination again.

Personal Beaver Diary:

I have no idea what fucking day it is, which means that I’ve been drinking every night for two weeks and haven’t touched a book or done anything to earn the credits my parents are so dearly paying for over here. Ha ha. I’m going to guess it’s Wednesday because my girls and I were just humped by a couple of locals that basically just kidnapped us from a gastro pub. They passed us around like an Italian family style dinner (we were to drunk to lay down any objections, so we didn’t argue), so it’s going to be a Wednesday. I think the smell emitting from our group is atrocious. We were told that, as a waiter tossed us out of a foreign McDonald’s. None of us have even attempted to learn anything about these cultures or their languages, so we have resorted to communicating like cavemen. It is working out for us alright. They wouldn’t let us rent mo-peds to make it back to where our school trip is supposed to check in at, so we were forced to sell our bodies to a Spanish biker gang for a ride. We made it back, our professors will no longer acknowledge our presence other than checking our names on the list. I was too hung over to remember I had my camera on our outing, so I took some pictures of the bushes and flowers at our hostel. I also took some pictures with homeless people that thought they could rob us. To their surprise, we had no money left. It’s a good thing our trip is already half over, because I am building a massive amount of foreign debt and enemies. The knock off Mona Lisa made me cry, but I think I was crying also because I ate dinner out of a dumpster. Luckily they don’t pay attention to us in the stores, I was able to steal six t-shirts. I bathed in a river, it was my first wash in three months. I had to walk 18 miles to find my friends, it made me feel good that they were in a similar predicament when we finally met up. I don’t feel so bad anymore, even though I bathed in my clothing in muddy water. We all drank red wine and didn’t talk tonight because we were all afraid of how we need to escape to Spain. We are no long welcome in whatever country we are currently in. If I make it home alive I will never do anything bad again, and I will lie through my teeth when asked about my studies. I need to write something in my blog, in case I die no one can know the truth.

Love,

Myself

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: