Fun Doubled

The fifty-three year campaign of utilizing identical twins in Doublemint Gum commercials started in 1956 with Jayne and Joan Boyd from Hammond, Indiana. The wave of old-style producers at Wrigley had all retired or died, which paved the way for the first “hot-shot players” to enter the advertising game. Like many in the hot-shot generation, these eager young capitalists ignored the lessons of the generations past when they starting learning how to shit gold. They snatched up the already popular campaign and wanted to insert some sex appeal into what they viewed as a bland line of chewing gum. They failed to realize that Doublemint Gum was the tornado sex Katrina idea of one of the most selective seduction artists in both invention and Iowa history. The gum once again started to take its toll when it was offered in lifetime supplies to the lovely young Boyd twins. Jayne became increasingly interested in sex. It was hard to get her to even show up to the promotional events and commercial recordings without ugly visible bruising all over her cheeks and knees. Oddly enough to balance the scales Joan became increasingly prudish. People who had known the Boyd twins before they become poster girls said it was as if Jayne absorbed all of Joan’s libido and happiness when they started chewing the gum so much.

The Doublemint sickness spreads like swine flu in a slaughterhouse during an earthquake. Joan lost her math skills and refused to work past 11:30 am Eastern time, even though they were on the West coast. Jayne’s demon’s continued to fornicate, until she developed syphilis and lost all control of her mind. She would hallucinate and scream for days on end. She smoked so many cigarettes that her hair turned from red to a fun yellow-blond. The once buxom cuties were now a full-blown pair of weirdos dressing up in country club fashioned clothes and biking around the California coast just to fill our mouths with gum. The worst part was, as weird and terrible as they looked 23 hours out of the day, they managed to get themselves hot and together for that one hour where the commercial was filmed. In 1963 Joan became pregnant and Wrigley’s gave the twins the boot. It was in the contract that as long as they were modeling and promoting the gum: Wrigley’s Official Guideline for Promoters, Rule 4 — “No Pregnancies are allowed to be carried out to their full term.” The Boyds were history and retired. Joan finished her pregnancy and gave up her child for adoption since it wasn’t a set of twins.

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