Whats the big dif?

Manikin, or mannequin, design has no apex for progress. Department stores are now utilizing the look of their coveted mannequins more than ever as marketing tools. Dr. Robert Schwiechrich of Globe College has written an article on this phenomenon, describing these pseudo beings as, “Psychological, subconscious [hard] manifestations of Western physical desire and body envy, placed and posed strategically to invoke a feeling of jealousy and desire of their clean sheik perfection.” (47) This guy might be right. The creativity is spooky. There are so many types of mannequins out there it’s getting a little weird. I don’t really care much for what each kind is supposed to mean subconsciously, or do to me emotionally, but what does startle me is the way the good doctor vanished after he wrote his article. There is something much bigger going on, and I have been looking in all the right places for all the wrong answers. There is a lot of information that mannequins and certain humans alike don’t want people know, which was luckily whispered aloud in an abandoned echo-ey J.C. Penny’s basement with white gift paper blowing around. Although there are many types of manufactured manikins standing around out there, there are two unique organic types that are absolutely fascinating. These are the ones that have both scared, loved and perplexed mankind the most.

Below is a good site that I discovered while doing photographic research for this post. I like it.

http://accismus.com/2008/06/20/the-inexplicably-furious-mannequins-of-macys/

CYTOS

Mannequinshttps://i0.wp.com/www.bombayharbor.com/productImage/Mannequin1/Mannequin.jpg These are the plain, nearly featureless mannequins known as Cytos. They were developed here on earth by American Scientists in the 1700’s. They grow in large sub-surface cocoons. No one knows exactly how they were initially made but once the first pod hatched they took on reproductive control for themselves. They don’t move much and it is rare that a Cyto has much thought process occurring inside their plain white interiors. This makes them perfectly suited to be placed in poses for clothing displays. Nearly three decades of perfection; Cytos were used flawlessly and rather enjoyed being painted, wigged and dressed up for display and attention. Cytos are immortal but choose to de-animate when they warp or become covered by too many knicks and cracks. De-animation is the process of re-inserting them into the great cocoon where they decompose and become the essential food for the growing new mannequins. Cytos tend to dislike bald people and have minimal cleavage. They can also change their gender with sandpaper. The main purpose in life for a Cyto is to be seen and acknowledged by humans.

Astrals

faceless_female_gray_mannequin.jpg image by purelybodiesThe Astrals could be considered the enemy alien twin to the Cytos. They are much like the Cytos but do not come from earth and are silver. They started showing up shortly after the Apollo 11 space mission. It is believed that a small spore of Astral, which is a very rare space metal found only twice in history, became wedged between two of the exterior panels of American return pod. Normally Astral is absolutely worthless outside of its novelty appeal, but in this case the heat from re-entry combined with its immediate cooling in the upper atmosphere caused a strange reaction in the metal. When the return pod was deconstructed at NASA somehow the small speck of Astral traveled its way to the large Cyto cocoon in Florida. That cocoon was immediately transformed into an Astral breeding ground. It’s hard to believe this was an accident. The Astral mannequins are not much different from the Cytos except that it is known that they have the ability to judge others. They view themselves as much more sheik and sexy than even the leading Cytos. The Astrals can range from being completely featureless to having full six pack abs and nipples. They are not immortal and can only live about 5 years before their shiny silver exterior starts to dull. At that point, the Astral is dead. The main purpose in the life of an Astral is to gain attention by putting down and hurting the feelings of a Cyto. Strangely Astrals also secretly want Cyto’s which is why in only the filthiest of Macy’s will you find both types of mannequins being used.

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One thought on “Whats the big dif?

  1. Bronze Lifter says:

    You don’t know how deep this really goes do you? There are no less that 400 million Manikins in the world and when the revolution comes and the dresses start to be displayed, this blog will be the only thing that stands between us and them. The movie Mannequin was just a vision of things to come! Do you dream much? The mannequin does and its dreams will eclipse even God himself! Beware of the Ives of March and the old navy crew cut tank top! It is there stooge!

    P.S. I recently started pitched an idea to Dateline NBC called To Catch a Mannequin. It was not well received and I owe Bloomingdale’s $354.50.

    P.P.S. Mom’s making Chili and Grandpa once killed a Mannequin at a Daytons.

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