Signing Yearbooks and Sticky Pages

“Those were the days” “Those were the best days of my life” I wish I could go back to those days” Yada yada yada blah… High school was not that cool. It is however quite customary to hear people fondly regarding it as some sort of Utopian period in their lives. What was it that was so great? There were several things that were quite enjoyable, but what ranks it higher than everything else in these weirdos entire lives. Literally there are people who, from the day they graduate till they are in their 50’s, who go on about stories from high school quite frequently. It’s as if that was life, and everything else is just an after thought.


“Oh my god do you remember that time we took the Saunderson’s boat out that night and drank all that Schnapps on it. Ohhh my god that was fun, Richard was so mad when he saw us out there from the dock. Ha ha ha I remember him yelling from shore for an hour until we came back in. That was the night Jenny and Stevie started dating, oh what ever happened to those two? I just loved the next day when Mr. Saunderson called us all in to talk to the principal about what we had done and our eyes were (friends say this in unison) BEAT RED. God those were the days…

note- Stevie and Jenny became circus clowns and divorced, when confused by the costumes, simultaneously cheated on each other on the tilt-o-whirl with some of the other clowns. They both are clowns at different circus’ now and have had their sexual self esteems scarred horribly.

You can find a great batch of these people at the “Look Out” bar in Maple Grove, MN. It’s really sad when you “look” around that place. It’s a huge collection of people, mostly between 40 and 55, trying to act of course like they are 18 again while they go out and dance, tell the same stories about High School, and look at their kids friends Facebook pages on their blackberries so that they can be in on all the tween drama. Interestingly not there to help with homework, but eager to live precariously through the more fun parts.  These parents are also chubby and fake tanned. Although it is entertaining to go and watch the desperate cougars stroll the bar tables trying to prove to themselves they still “have it” by trying to get 39-year-old guys to dance with them and hopefully go home and touch and such. Most cases end in them going home opening a bottle of wine and a yearbook, and falling asleep alone before the magic can happen.

It still raises the question; Why do some people attach so strongly to high school? Was it playing the sports? Was it the raging hormones? Was it being a cool kid? Was it the days where everyone wore their pajamas to school or dressed in 70’s clothes? Was it having the summers off? Was it watching Reverend Camden as a sexual deviant on a lifetime movie that one time?

With barely any thought I have come up with a theory to explain the phenomenon.

There are a few factors that go into this developmental theory that I am basically making up as I go. We all thought  we would be rich and important some day, living in that fantasy land was amazing. We were experiencing our bodies develop and change, so that every crush  or love interest seemed much more important than it actually was. Big fish theory, everyone knows the whole pond thing. Everything is more fun when you aren’t supposed to do it. When you are that age having a beer is getting away with something.  It was more fun running around “playing” grown up than it actually turned out to be one. You couldn’t be charged as an adult. You were sharing a common experience with a ton of other people. Every0ne wants to be a part of something. You didn’t have any responsibility, and could think everything you did was really cool.  Basically these weirdos didn’t love high school, they just loved the false feeling of importance they have lost. Telling stories is a way to hold on to a life they don’t have. Tony Danza was still the boss, even as a male nanny.


One thought on “Signing Yearbooks and Sticky Pages

  1. Jon Von Sploogen says:

    Remember that time when we told you were going to the mall of america, but then we didnt. And you ran over to our room and were really mad. Yahhhh. Those were the days.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: