Lets get back to business

Its been another long hiatus from blog world for me. The reasoning behind the leave was, I just plain got bored with writing them. I started seeing several other blogs pop up that were purely about life’s mundane formalities and it makes me sick. I despise reading flowery accounts about how the weather has been or one page holiday reflections etc, etc, etc… So I quit, I didn’t want to get lumped into that category. I was also trying to find a new job during my computer time. Well I am sick of that too, so I will quit that for a while. We don’t live in a world that has jobs or respectful hiring managers. We live in a world where if you try to call a company they direct you to the website, and when you apply online you are lucky to get the spam-like response telling you that you aren’t good enough (and I’m aiming low). Yuck. I will spend some of my future computer time researching entrepreneurship. Who the hell cares about this shit in the last paragraph? On to the good stuff.

THE GOVERNMENT HAS SHUT DOWN. It’s pandemonium in streets! Without proper welfare checks filtering to North Minneapolis, those of us with jobs have had to battle a sea of thugs and armed children just to get our Starbucks in the morning. Disease is spreading faster than ever via over-sized capitalist deer ticks and sunblock with SPF ratings that are frankly so low, they themselves are a major threat to humanity. The governor has locked himself behind the thick cedar door of his office with a Costco tub of green crayons and is coloring scraps of paper into money and signing them as legal tender. We only know this because he slides them under the door every couple of hours. The artwork on them isn’t great and he seems to change formats on them every couple of days. In the meantime war has broken out in the urban areas and sightings of zombies have been reported. Louisiana Banks says, ” I think the ticks are carrying the plague, and they are attracted to banana boat…”  That fact is unconfirmed. Construction workers have had to halt construction of  protective barriers, because they can’t pay state inspectors to come give them a once over. Unemployment has nearly reached 100%, and the overall tone is relaxed. Finally we can get a few things done around the house. With foreclosures reaching record high’s the government promises to hire a special squad to kick us out of our homes once they are back in business. Banks are happy about this promise, they are eager to default the next wave.

Breaking News the Governor has decided to resubmit the same offer the republicans made to him before the shut down. The Genius Board is nominating him for a Nobel. Now they can try to fix things with a few more state sponsored women’s fishing days and promotional key chains and coffee mugs, while we squeeze those rich cigarette smokers for the rest of their pocket change to save the state… We should probably stop sponsoring anti-smoking campaigns?

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