Facebook App request

Before you read this: If you are about to think, “Well just don’t use Facebook if you hate it so much.” I need you to put ginger in your mouth. I have my reasons for having Facebook.

“I don’t know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.”

-Bilbo Baggins

Most people have Facebook, most people receive app requests from Facebook friends that are playing stupid flash games or can’t appreciate a news article by themselves. I’m getting these from people I barely even know. Sometimes friends even ask in person, “could you just play a round on coin party and accept my invitation and send me some coins?” I don’t understand this. Would you like to come over to my house and play monopoly? No, no one would. I  know that. Would you just quick type all your passwords to companies you don’t know and email it? Would you buy an N64 and invite me over to play smash bros.? Anyway; not that big of a deal, I just don’t like that stuff.

The real issue that is trending more and more on Facebook is posts asking, “If you like this {insert whatever} please like/repost this. These drive me absolutely insane. I’m sorry to you beardos, who at some minor level get off doing this kind of thing, but really?  Oh boy let me see who loves their mother… this is going to be great !

These remind of me email forwards I used to get to my hotmail account which was hilariously mwacko69@hotmail back in the day. I tried to log in, the account doesn’t exist anymore, I guess I won’t be going on MSN messenger anytime soon and reconnecting. Back to the point… there would be some long-winded story about Bill Gates sharing his money to anyone who forwards this to 25 people, or some sad (clearly made up) story about some cancer patient being carried up a flight of stairs and getting divorced. Then whatever stupid story (some might have been based on true stories, don’t get me wrong, but the act of putting it on a forward made it stupid) would have some message at the end about if you love your family you will send this to 25 friends and you will have good luck in life. If you don’t send it to 25 people you will have 7 years of bad luck. Well those were fine and dandy and easily deletable. I often wondered if some of the people out there, whether they were desperate for love or religious cult followers, actually or even partially believed in any of those things. I mean they didn’t hesitate to attach dozens of people to the forward. I always thought those people were such suckers. Perhaps that’s an archetype example of how the rich sell masses of crap to the regular.

I realize those emails were the bastard children of snail mail chain letters, but I am too young for chain letters. More popular are the obviously fake stories that people “repost” on their wall in the hopes of generating “likes”. Is that what you want attention for? I like good stories, but stories that are clearly fake trying to be passed along as real events annoy me. More specifically are the ones about where “if you don’t take the time to tell someone you love them… then someone dies at the end.”  Anyone who loves anyone knows that stuff, if you don’t love anyone, the story would be of little concern to you. I won’t rant any further on this.

Facebook is clearly for dogs, babies, thumbs upping engagement announcement pictures and watching your friends weight fluctuate.  The end.

Pink Tulips


Roger was an old man with few friends. In fact the only people that knew him well were his doctor and the local police dispatcher. Both of whom he would call and talk with frequently. Everyone else that knew him or at least interacted with him thought he was a mean, grumpy, stinky old man. They would dread him coming into the store then laugh about the the things he would say behind his back. In a way he provided entertainment, but not the type anyone would be proud of. Roger knew that most people laughed at him and didn’t really like him, and even though he had no friends or family left to comfort him he kept on chugging along.

Roger was somewhat of a paranoid man. He kept a pistol hidden in his wheel chair and would call the police information line anytime he saw something suspicious in his neighborhood. He kept an especially close eye on the trees since he felt they provided easy access to the windows of homes. Roger lived in a bad part of town, so the calls were frequent. The neighborhood wasn’t always so bad. When his family had first moved in, it was a bustling young part of the city where everyone had good employment, there were block parties, bbq’s etc… over the 97 years of his life he watched as things slowly got hairy around them. Roger had been given a bad hand later in life. After surviving as a front line soldier through the war and working many fulfilling years at an automobile factory he had retired with a good pension. Then one day everything went to shit for him. Roger and his wife had decided that since he had retired they would move out of their long time home. The value was dropping by the day and they were no longer fond of the surrounding area. After many unsuccessful showings, Roger’s real estate agent suggested an open house. Roger was very against he idea of having his front door open to any stranger that might want to come in, but after much discussion he agreed to trust that everything would be okay. Roger’s only condition was that he and his wife would be a part of the open house to keep an eye on these potential buyers. In preparation Roger had decided to have his son come down and visit to help them move some things out of the house and arrange some of the furniture. The morning of the open house Roger’s wife had prepared a deli tray of snacks for the potential guests and his agent had put together brochures for potential buyers.

They opened the doors and after not long wild street cats invaded the house and violently mauled and hunted everyone inside. Roger had both legs eaten off and was only saved only by the grace of a laser pointer the agent had dropped when he perished. He was able to stir the cats into a frenzy by swirling the laser pointer around the room. He lost both of his legs that day. He also lost his family and his house cat, which wasn’t accepted by the wild street cats. It was the worst day of his life, and he’d been through a lot over the years.

Years later Roger had developed an unrivaled sense of paranoia for anything that could potentially harm anybody. Even though most people didn’t like Roger, he cared dearly about protecting them. When he died the notes he had kept about all the calls to the police information line were found in his home. They helped solve countless crimes around the city. They also eventually led to the capture and rehabilitation of all the street cats in that horrible gang.


You love your family

Believe in second chances

Have ever been laughed at

Understand the difference between vegans and vegetarians and why it’s important

Love your house pets

Are weary of strangers

Celebrate New Years

Have legs

Remember the good old days

There is hope for the world, we just need to learn from our elders. Reach for the staaaars… You might just grab one…


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